Super Mario Bros. 3

5 Comments

1. Dec01

   B. E Jackson

   “Dear God, please let this horrible game be a figment of my imagination”

   Nope, it’s real. What an unbelievable piece of overrated garbage Super Mario Bros. 3 is. For the life of me I don’t get the appeal of this game. Through each of the eight boring worlds it’s just the same thing every time: run to the end of each and every extremely short, uncreative level collecting worthless crap so you can move on to the next short, uncreative level. Super Mario Bros. 3 is complete baboon poop. It really is. Nothing good about this game at all. No reason for Mario or video game fans to remember this crappy adventure. No reason for this game to exist. Thank God there are sensible people out there such as myself to give you the honest truth.

   Let’s get right to the point and talk about all the stinky things:

   One, and this is the biggest reason Super Mario Bros. 3 isn’t any good. You can only play as Mario and Luigi. In Super Mario Bros. 2 you can play as the Princess and Toad in addition to Mario and Luigi. Not so here. In this game, Mario and Luigi don’t even have anything unique to separate the two, so they are basically the same exact person (except Mario is red and Luigi is green). Remember how high Luigi can jump in Super Mario Bros. 2? Well now he jumps just like Mario. Absolutely no reason for this. If anything, Luigi should have MANY more interesting things about him this time around since, after all, Super Mario Bros. 3 comes AFTER Super Mario Bros. 2 and you’d think the most logical thing would be to continue adding MORE things with each new series. But in this case, you get less. I guess Nintendo FORGOT to make Luigi stand apart from Mario.

   Another problem: this game is so freakin’ predictable. Gee, after the desert world I go to… a water world? You don’t say! What? There’s an ICE world and a plant world coming up? No way! And what’s THIS I see? The final world will be BIG DARK EVIL FIRE WORLD? I didn’t see THAT coming. Thanks Nintendo, for making Mario fans look like complete idiots. Way to go.

   Other serious problems become noticeable after a couple hours of playtime such as the fact that you have to do so much boring jumping in this game. You have to jump on top of (or over) SO many things that it becomes an absolute chore after world 3 (if you even MAKE it that far without shutting off the game, that is). If you find anything exciting about jumping over pipes or jumping on top of goombas or picking up and kicking buzzy beetles, then I recommend seeking professional help.

   Ok, what else makes Super Mario Bros. 3 suck so much? It can’t get any worse, right? Yes it can. After you beat the game a message comes up on the screen that says “Thank you, but our princess is in another castle. Just kidding, hahaha”. You mean to tell me, after all that long, hard and tedious work making it to the very end, Nintendo is going to joke around and make like the adventure isn’t over yet? Before the “just kidding” part, you might very well rip apart your controller or punch a hole in your TV screen all because Nintendo wants to play around and pretend there’s still more to the adventure. I can’t even think of appropriate words to describe how angry this makes me. Tears of anger are almost dripping down my face. Nintendo NEVER should have done that. I bet that most people who first seen that message really thought the princess was in another castle and came THIS close to killing the nearest living thing next to them. Bad Nintendo.

   And guess what? You have to face one of Bowser’s kids at the end of every world. I’m not kidding. I was honestly expecting to fight Bowser’s WIFE before fighting him, but it never happened. That’s probably for the better. Who knows how horrific she looks.

   I’m still trying to figure out what everyone sees in this game. It’s old and forgettable. Honestly, I think nowadays the only people who enjoy Super Mario Bros. 3 are older folks whose children have moved away to college or to start a family, and they left behind their NES and Super Mario Bros. 3 cartridge so their parents had something to do. All these older folks miraculously happen to enjoy the game so now EVERYONE acts like it’s the best game of all-time. Well it’s not.
   Rating: 1 / 5

2. Dec01

   Anonymous

   This game is my least favorite mario game of them all.
   
   It has bad graphics, especially on the NES, but even on the SNES on Super Mario All Stars, this game just sucks. the music sucks. the levels suck. the only thing good that might come out of this game is the different “forms” or mario.

   P.S. If you haven’t already, but Super Mario Brothers 2 for the NES because that game i a lot better, but beware, on the GBA that game has annoying voices added on it, play the NES one.
   Rating: 2 / 5

3. Dec01

   Anonymous

   The only reason I keep this game with my collection is because I like to show off that I have every Mario trilogy game. For one thing, the fact of going around on a 2-dimensional level screen does not entertain me. There is no real action, has clunky game play, and has almost impossible challenges. Try it from a friend or connection first, just to see your opinion.
   Rating: 1 / 5

4. Dec01

   Matt Greer

   Many people praise this game to no end, and I honestly think it’s just the “hardcore” thing to do. Super Mario Bros 3 (SMB3) was a noble effort back in the day, and really pushes the idea of what an NES game can be with intricate level layouts, maps, characters, items, and play mechanics. It also has a great graphical style that’s uniquely its own. No other SMB game has ever looked liked this.

   But when it comes to actual gameplay, it leaves me a bit wanting. My biggest complaint is the levels are *really* short. Even when later levels try to present you with challenges you can often just force your way through and still make it, because safety isn’t far away. Nintendo chose quantity over quality, as there’s certainly a lot of them. But when you don’t have enough meat on any one level to bite into, it makes the game hard to get into.

   Another big let down are the bosses. They’re all almost identical (there’s a template “sub-boss” form that all sub-bosses base their patterns on and a template “level boss” form that all level bosses base their patterns on. All sub/level bosses use the same (or extremely similiar) sprites too. All easily squashed with the standard 3 hits Miyamoto always requires.

   I think SMB3 is just a case of Nintendo getting too caught up in the interface, items, graphics, etc and kinda forgetting about the gameplay. Try SMB2 instead. Either the vastly strange American version that’s decidedly un-Mario but an incredibly well made platformer all the same, or the Japanese SMB2 which is basically SMB1 on steroids. Both much better games than SMB3 is.
   Rating: 3 / 5

5. Dec01

   Daniel McDonald

   I LOVED THIS GAME SO MUCH!! I beat the game when I was 3-years-old, and have loved it ever since. Since new NES versions have came out over the years, I bought the GameBoy Advance version of it to show my appreciation!!
   Rating: 5 / 5